Eating Disorders, Mental Health, Mental Illnesses

Body Positive #2

Being body positive isn’t necessarily about your tummy or thighs, it’s all round confidence in how you look from your glasses to your hair colour, etc. I got a huge confidence boost dying my hair red and going back to my favourite fashion style. I’m a punk chick who loves jeans, band t shirts, and leather jackets with boots and that’s how I like it. 
Moral of the story, don’t be afraid to dress/look the way you want. You do what makes YOU happy! 

– Amy x

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Borderline personality disorder, Eating Disorders, hospital, Mental Health, Mental Illnesses

Patient Inpatient #2

It’s almost been 7 days as an inpatient. I’m finding it beneficial for me and Alexanders sleep patterns. With a little help he can settle himself and go to sleep by himself. 

The nurses are lovely here. The other mummy’s are nice as well. I’m the youngest hear though haha. 

Don’t Judge me but I am 85.2kgs. In the past 2 months I have lost 6kgs. I’ve started running again and exercising so even if I eat junk I can just run it off or even some of it. 

My legs are sore from hill sprints yesterday. But I need to cardio to burn calories so I just gotta push through the pain. I have 5kgs to my next goal. 

I have to set small goals so I don’t overwhelm myself. 

Anyway, tell me about yourself and your issues! Start a convo I don’t bite! Hard… 😉 nah, I just want to hear what it’s like for you and why you followed my blog 🙂

Thanks lovely people!

-Amy x

Mental Health

A patient Inpatient 

I’m currently in a mother baby psych unit. If i was doing will, it would pretty much be a holiday. I have my own room with Alexander and it’s massive! I get a couch bassinet, double bed and closets. The food is much better than QLD hospital food. This stuff is actually edible. I’m back on Valium and I’m a bit dopey in the morning and at night. I try not to use it during the day so I can stay awake and alert. 

It’s going to be a bit easier to lose weight in here. There aren’t a lot of temptations and it’s going to be easier to exercise. I’ve got 2 or so weeks to lose at least 2 kgs or more. If I don’t eat too much I’m thinking about purging it. 

Hopefully I can start to curb the binge eating habits so I wouldn’t have to purge. 

I’ve been an inpatient 31 times including this admission. The difference in mental health programs and facilities of QLD to VIC is crazy. There is nothing like this for women who have a baby and need help around both themselves and coping with the baby while dealing with symptoms 

That’s all for now.

– Amy x

Mental Health

The Purge

I have struggled with Bulimia since I was twelve. My nan kept saying how big I was and how I wasn’t in the “light weight” category. And people used to make fun of my baby fat in bikinis. So I starting not eating but I got so hungry I would eat everything and anything in sight. I looked up on the computer ways to lose weight and a blog about bulimia came up and I read that she made herself vomit all the food up. I tried it and it was horrible but as I got older and more fixated on weight loss I got used to purging and that started my binge/purge cycle. I’m still struggling with my weight and I was I could purge. I put on so much weight during pregnancy and afterwards.  I always feel fat and gross and I can’t look in the mirror without wanting to shoot myself. 

I just want to be skinny 😦

-Amy x