Mental Health

Childhood with Schizophrenia 

The first hallucinations I remember having started when I was seven. Grey foxes befriended me and were my best friends. Sadly thought, everyone I went to school with realises I was a nut job and that led to bullying. The next ones that came were orange foxes, they would bite and growl at me. The grey wolves protected me. 

When I was about eight years old, I stared getting worse tactile hallucinations. Which are the ones I can feel and smell. I remember when they started to scare me. I woke up one night and put my hand on the side of the bed and felt feathers. As I got out of bed and walked on feathery fleshy stuff on the ground to the light switch, I flicked it on and dead birds covered my room and it stunk like rotting flesh. Not to mention that every night there was a humanoid figure with a wolf head stuck on my window and would scream like a banshee until I fell asleep. 

This had been happening for a year before I thought of suicide for the first time. The family and I were out on a picnic and dad and I were looking over the cliff face. He told me to stay away from the ledge because I will fall and die. I looked over the edge and I thought, maybe falling wouldn’t be such a bad thing. 

I really started noticing something was very wrong with me when I was convinced I was a medium. I believed I could summon demons and ghosts and talk to dead people and see ghosts. Or I believed someone I knew or talked to was actually dead and it was my job to show them the light or help them finished what they have to before moving on. That was around age eleven till twelve. I started getting therapy for anxiety and ptsd at this age. Then I stopped because I thought I could handle things on my own. 

Well that’s my early childhood experience with schizophrenia. Teenage years coming up next. If you have any questions feel free to ask 🙂

-Amy

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