Borderline personality disorder, Eating Disorders, Mental Health, Mental Illnesses

Good? Yeah, nah. 

**TRIGGER WARNING**

My anxiety is going through the roof. My panic attacks are getting more intense and harder to get out of. 

My eating disorder is re emerging. I’m starting a fruit and vegetable diet. Strictly healthy, mostly 0 calorie foods. Even if they have calories max has to be 100 per item, maybe some yogurt, max 150 cal per yogurt though. And im going to buy a sports bra because my boobs are way too big to run without one haha. But I will lose weight and I will be happy with my body no matter what it takes. I get really anxious having to eat junk food in front of people. The odd junk meal here and there is acceptable, any more and I might have to start purging again. And anything more that a 1000 cal intake I have to burn off. I am sick of being fat. I’ve got 15kgs to lose to even accept my body as “normal”. I am realistically aiming for 5kgs a month. That’s with running 2 times a day and toning exercises. I will get my skinny body back, I’ll be damned if I let anything stop me. 

I start next week, I have already eaten and drank so much junk. And I don’t have a sports bra yet and good running shoes. 

-Amy xx

This is me currently. I still have my baby pouch and this just disgusts me