Mental Health, Mental Illnesses, Philosophy, Uncategorized

The Road to Recovery

It’s a long hard road with lots of twists and turns and bumps and potholes and speed bumps, sometimes you even fall backwards a few steps.

The length of the road scares people, including myself. It seems so far away but it reality you aren’t walking, you are driving and you will get there when you are meant to.

The twists and turns are challenging you and your will power to keep going and get back on the straight path.

The speed bumps are there to slow you down because after step on this road needs to planned and you have to be ready to move forward. The speed bumps slow you down so you can think about the next steps.

You might fall into a hole sometimes, but that is testing your strength. With this step you prove you have the ability and power to lift yourself up and keep going.

Going up a hill is another challenge. Rolling backwards to the bottom is a part of the journey. No matter who you are, there will always be a time when you back peddle. That is OK. 

Everyone can get over the hill, even if it feels like a mountain. Everyone can recover. It’s a matter of determination and effort.

– Amy xx

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Mental Health, Mental Illnesses

Panic! At The Hospo

The psychiatrist at the mother baby unit wants to have a huge meeting with all my supports. He wants to take me off Ziprasidone and put me on something he thinks will suit and help my symptoms more. It’s an anit psychotic and a mood stablished. But the wants me in the community to do it. 

I’m not good at coming off meds in hospital let alone doing it at home. He wants to send me home and come back to the mother baby unit I’m in. My mum isn’t going to be happy. Pretty sure I know this is where it’s going to end.

I’m going to have to go back to into a normal adult ward. The Dr also said it will take a month to get shit sorted so I hope I’m not in there for that long. 
My anxiety about the meeting is going nuts. Not knowing what’s going to happen is also contributing to that. 

Just gotta play the game. 

-Amy xx

Mental Health, Mental Illnesses, Poetry

The Cat Effect

Curiosity killed the cat. Satisfaction brought it back. The cat killed the bat. The rat ate the bat whilst the cat was enjoying the comfort of his sleep mat. In the end the poor cat just wanted a pat.

The cat needed attention, he thrives off the resurrection. Thus leading from the satisfaction to the interaction.

Cause and affect had nothing but the black cat to suspect. The cat got curious and what he found made him furious. The cat was hurt as he realized his life was dirt.

So he took his life. Leaving behind his kids and wife. Thus to start the whole cycle again.

Curiosity killed the cat.

Borderline personality disorder, Eating Disorders, hospital, Mental Health, Mental Illnesses

Patient Inpatient #2

It’s almost been 7 days as an inpatient. I’m finding it beneficial for me and Alexanders sleep patterns. With a little help he can settle himself and go to sleep by himself. 

The nurses are lovely here. The other mummy’s are nice as well. I’m the youngest hear though haha. 

Don’t Judge me but I am 85.2kgs. In the past 2 months I have lost 6kgs. I’ve started running again and exercising so even if I eat junk I can just run it off or even some of it. 

My legs are sore from hill sprints yesterday. But I need to cardio to burn calories so I just gotta push through the pain. I have 5kgs to my next goal. 

I have to set small goals so I don’t overwhelm myself. 

Anyway, tell me about yourself and your issues! Start a convo I don’t bite! Hard… šŸ˜‰ nah, I just want to hear what it’s like for you and why you followed my blog šŸ™‚

Thanks lovely people!

-Amy x

Mental Health

A patient InpatientĀ 

I’m currently in a mother baby psych unit. If i was doing will, it would pretty much be a holiday. I have my own room with Alexander and it’s massive! I get a couch bassinet, double bed and closets. The food is much better than QLD hospital food. This stuff is actually edible. I’m back on Valium and I’m a bit dopey in the morning and at night. I try not to use it during the day so I can stay awake and alert. 

It’s going to be a bit easier to lose weight in here. There aren’t a lot of temptations and it’s going to be easier to exercise. I’ve got 2 or so weeks to lose at least 2 kgs or more. If I don’t eat too much I’m thinking about purging it. 

Hopefully I can start to curb the binge eating habits so I wouldn’t have to purge. 

I’ve been an inpatient 31 times including this admission. The difference in mental health programs and facilities of QLD to VIC is crazy. There is nothing like this for women who have a baby and need help around both themselves and coping with the baby while dealing with symptoms 

That’s all for now.

– Amy x