Mental Health

Paranoid Activity

The first and biggest thing I am paranoid about, is people/demons are out to get me and my family. Sometimes when I am in A psychotic episode, I am convinced even my family is trying to kill me or feed me to demons. I used to cleanse my room with white sage and put warding crystals in my room to kill demons if they dare enter. 

I hate germs. I can’t push elevator buttons. It makes me feel like puking just thinking about it. I don’t hold escalator rails or shopping trolleys without having hand sanitizer nearby so I can use it after touching it. I don’t let my young siblings play with toys in the Drs waiting room because that’s just asking for diseases.

I always think people are staring at me and talking about me. I will literally hear my name and see them staring and then laughing. 

For two years I woke up every two hours, if I even slept in between, I unlocked and locked every window and door with a key. Like clockwork I got up every two hours to do it. 

Due to events, I sleep with a metal crowbar and a wooden axe handle under my bed.

It took me years to make these behaviors less detrimental in my life. If I went to a new friends how I never ate anything off their plates or left overs that I hadn’t seen be cooked. If I was there for two days, I wouldn’t eat for those two days. 

I used to believe that the government was trying to poison me through vitamins and minerals tablets. It sounds ridiculous when I say it aloud. 

If I haven’t had a text from mum or dad for two hours and they are both out, I start thinking something has gone wrong and expecting a call from a hospital because they have been robbed or in a car accident or they were victims of terror attacks. 

That’s about it… anyway what are you guys paranoid about? 

-Amy x

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